Unconditional Love Ever!

I was happy with life,
But felt incomplete,
Something missing,
Been searching,
For the jigsaw piece,
Iron out the creases,
Smooth out uneven edges,
Many enter your life,
Few rip out your heart,
Leave you bruised & battered,
Unforgettable memories,
Some never to forget,
And others, we want to regret,
Now i realise,
The feeling was,
What I was going to be missing...
It's my father, the only man in my life to have loved me unconditionally.

'UNIMPORTANT', 'ANONYMOUS', RELIGION & POLITICS'...

'UNIMPORTANT'...
The 'Importance' of family members are not 'defined' by 'Admission of my Feelings or Submission of their Pictures' on Face book.
"It's called Face Book not Family Book!".

How do you know, if they want to be revealed to friends on Fb?You should not assume if you're unsure or in doubt, it would be polite and better to ask instead of making hurtful and unwarranted statements/comments.

I used to have pictures of them in my last account, which was hacked and pics were misused. They were hassling certain members of my family for more information about me via their Fb account. So i decided to opt out of having them here, thus less chance of them being traced.

I don't ask anyone else about their family members, they usually tell me and i do the same too when we feel comfortable to talk about.

Friendship here is based on 'One 2 One', no need to drag the whole family into this friendship on networking.

Q : Do you take all your family members to your place of work, business meetings, etc or other places of no interest/concern?
A: NO.

Q: Would you display your family pictures to your colleagues or everyone you meet on your daily routine.
A: NO

Q: Would you diisplay their pictures, to be used or exposed on unsavoury sites?
A: NO.

My pics are my choice to share and don't need anyone else's permission to do so.



'ANONYMOUS'
Nothing surprises me anymore. There are people on networking, they thrive on inflicting pain and destruction amongst others for their sick fantasy. They're gutless, useless, hopeless, worthless and also operating under fake identities or with photographs stolen from other profiles.

'Anons'...(Anonymous) the 'Brave Heros', that like to speak their mind but keep their true identities a 'SECRET'.

Good for you...'THUMBS UP or HIGH FIVE' to you. Sad people without morals, values or respect for anyone.

I had a comment made on my Blog by 'An Anon', on the topic on 'Mohanlal & Mammooty'. It's obvious, Anon did not read it properly or misunderstood the whole concept.

Never mind, 'Some mothers do have them' as the saying goes...lol

If you're one of them reading this...

How does it feel, unable to express your views without revealing yourself?.

It takes courage to stand up for your beliefs. Once you start, the feeling is truly priceless. Don't be a sheep and follow blindly or scream and shout to prove a point, like nursery kids. Make that change and a difference in your life, also for benefit of others too.



'RELIGION & POLITICS'...
I also know there are politics within Facebook too. Some people don't comment on certain poeple's wall so they write inbox so their friends don't see it for the fear of being discarded by bullies.

Damn...'Politics' creeps into everything, even social gathering on networking...lol

'Religion & Politics, should be creating Unity but all it does is Divide & Rule', both Man-made, Dividing Mankind.

Religion - Aim, teaching of God... about Love & Unity, not Fear or any Negativities.

Politics - is to bring equality between the human race. freedom also to stop or ease the suffering of many but both are used to benefit the Rich, Famous & Powerful ones to satisfy their Greed and not the Need of the suffering.


Networking should be about bringing everyone from all over the world together to do Good not Evil.

Wishing you all a beautful life without any Fear...only Peace, Love & Happiness.

TRUE OR FALSE....FRIENDS???

Words can ease the pain.
Actions can take away the strain.
Don't be so mean.
When one wants to Lean.
Your hollow word.
It sounds so absurd.
Friends are not just for fun.
In time of need, don't be on the run.
Accept your faults.
Without using any bolts.
Don't be so eager to criticise.
Kindness should be the exercise.
Need only simple living.
Looking forward to a peaceful ending.

Birth Of Another Spring!...

New green blanket...
Nature has laid once more...
Explosions of yellows everywhere...
Beautiful daffodils...
Standing proud in rows...
Innocent, cute and so refreshing...
Wishing for time to pause a little...
To truly enjoy the beauty...
The trees still bare...
Winter has left it's mark...
Old branches, harsh and dry...
Their turn shall be here soon...
New leaves will be sprouting...
Preparing for a beautiful Summer...
Followed by Autumn & Winter...
The cycle will continue...
Enjoy every moment, you're here...
As nothing is forever.

Last memories of my Father's Life...

Death is inevitable...
Many close relatives have passed on...
I've witnessed my grandma's...
Just before my 6th birthday...

But never thought...
It would knock on my door for my dad.
Wanted to hold onto what we had...
Just few moments longer...
I know i was asking for too much...

He held on as long as he could...
It was a tug of war within me...
Part of me willing him to stay..
The other half wanting him to stop breathing...

No more pain for him to endure...
Part of me died that day...
Looking forward to meeting him again...
Don't want another life without him.

Rushing home to see him...
All that awaits is an empty bed to greet me.
Life will never be the same ever again...
I will treasure him in my memory...
Only the death of me, can take that away.

I was truly lucky and hononured...
To have been born as his daughter...
If i was to be given another chance...
I would choose him every time...

Thankful to God...
For the times we shared.
I know, he truly cared...
Will make him proud.
Life must go on...

Love & Pain.

I want to dance once again...
In the cool, refreshing rain...
Without feeling the severe pain...
In my memory, he shall remain...
Love & Happiness, my heart shall maintain.

MOHANLAL OR MAMMOOTY, Should they continue to play younger roles??

Mohanlal & Mammooty's die hard fans will hate to read the following....So much hype & hysteria...This is not about character assassination but speaking my mind.

They may be good guys but this is covering their professional aspect, not personal.

Why don't these actors get fit for the roles they're about to embark on?

Mohanlal's latest movie 'Casanova' is a joke, his appearance is totally wrong. They're highly paid, considering their profession to look the part too. They shouldn't be allowed to carry on in this physical state...so no excuse.

Casanova were played by David Tennant & (Late) Heath Ledger, check them out in their film.

Mammooty managed to keep his figure considering his age but his face has started to show wear and tear. Stop kidding us with roles fit for younger models. Pot/Beer Belly is not a physical form expected for the part or attractive.

Give youngsters the part...'Sell by Date' has been long gone for the above named actors.

I wasn't sure about Prithviraj earlier but he's been delivering his parts well and impressive too. Only time will tell, let's wait and see. I think, things may have gone to his head a bit since acting with Aishwarya Rai and so on.

I'm not against older actors playing younger roles if it's convincing but there are limitation and they've certainly overstayed their time (Move on please) Father/uncle/grandad roles are plenty...Not sure, who to blame... The film makers or the audience for this nonsense??? :(We've been fooled for too long.

Are the audience happy with it or just settling for 2nd best?

I've stopped watching Malayalam movies years ago, prefer to read. At least my imagination won't make me cringe as these movies do and have been for years.

These film makers need to be kicked up their rear end. Producing so much rubbish in the mass. Quality please not Quantity. Take pride in your field of work. I'm not fan of anyone, only their talent. No time to watch movies, love to listen to songs instead 24/7.

There are plenty of talents amongst ordinary citizens in Kerala but the sad fact is, that none in the film industries are willing to give them an opportunity to shine. I'm so grateful for the recent explosion of new talent shows, allowing the general public an exposure they needed. Not just nationally but internationally too, otherwise not.

I can't believe there aren't anyone good enough to play these roles apart from the above actors? Mohanlal and Mammooty were good until few years ago but as i stated earlier, they are not suitable to play younger roles as before. It's embarassing to see them like this....Actors should 'fit' into the 'characters' they're 'portraying' not look like 'themselves'...as it's been happening for too longggg...

Hollywood/British actors do their research before attempting to play the role. At times, they live, feel, breathe and even lose/gain weight, shave their head, beaten and bruised to fit the part.

Acting is not all about portraying glamour, fame, heroes & the rich, it's about victims, poverty and other issues too. I also know it's about commercialising, profits, also about politics in the industry and many cannot compete with them.

The money the film industry pay for these actors are way beyond what they deserve. The standards are below average. Quality is non-existent as they are compelled to producing too many films too frequently.

The directors and editors should concentrate on better productions.. No more cheezy or pathetic, unwarranted and unnecessary dialogues or scripts to bail them out when it fails to deliver via Jegathy, Jegadeesh or other comedians.

Producers should not invest in bad films. Only reward the team, if it's a success.

Suraj Venjaramoodu is doing very well... but for how long? Hope he won't follow in the same footsteps as Jegathy Sreekumar. No variation in his role, it has become stagnant and boring.

'NO ONE IS INDISPENSABLE'...Talent alone cannot sustain one's place anywhere, especially public figures. You need to win over the love & affection of the fans. Without fans, these celebrities are nothing...they can make you or break you.

I always say...'Fame Comes With A Price, It's Freedom You Sacrifice'. So don't complain, when fans are on your case. You become a public property and won't have much of a choice. It's sad but it comes as a package. So get real and deal with it.

Good Luck & eagerly awaiting New Talents. :)

The Essence Of Him...

It's been over a month...
Since my father's demise...
It's tough to think of him...
Without my eyes welling up...
Tears flowing uncontrollably...
The pain still so severe and raw...
When will it ever ease...
Finding ways to remember...
The good times we shared...
Without feeling the pain...
He will remain my No1.
The searching for him, needs to stop...
Reassurance of a better place for him...
Is my solace lately...
Memories of him shall keep me going...
No one can take him away from me...
Will keep him alive within me..
Until i'm no more or my memory fails...
Didn't realise how lucky i've been...
Part of me died with him...
Essence of him will live on through us...
Also the generations to follow.

Criticism V Compliment...lol

I love Criticism more than Compliment, where as it was the opposite in the earlier part of my life. To me Criticism means room for improvement and Compliment seems to make you content and complacent. We all need both, like Ying & Yang. I suppose to balance us & stay grounded.

I'm so grateful for varieties of friends, adding another dimension to my interesting, NEVER 'Boring' life... I truly appreciate. I have known some friends here for quite some time. Few know me 'Fairly' well and most of the close ones know me 'Really' well.

I find it charming and quite amusing when someone without a face or have not had time to study another person can make unwarranted comments in public.

This has allowed me to write this 'Note', so in reality 'I've turned a Negative into something Positive. I could've deleted the message but decided to leave it as it is.

Now coming to 'Too much Make-Up or the Lack of it', is an individual choice. I have had this kind of comments before so it wasn't a 'Surprise or Shock' to read it.

Special occasions and photoshoots warrants that extra touch to really compliment the subject. My make-up bag consists of Kajal pencil, Lip definer, Lip gloss, Liquid Eye Liner and Mascara (the last two i rarely use on a daily basis).

All these are contained in a small make-up bag that fit nicely into the palm of my hand. I don't have any objections against the folllowing products but i refuse to use the following and the only exception will be for a photoshoot...

Foundation, Compressed compact powder, Concealer, Talcum powder (used by some ppl) on my face as it's commonly used as a basic foundation to get an even skin tone or flawless look and no Lipstick.

Fortunately, i've inherited good skin from my parents and my mom taught us to use moisturiser morning and night from an early age.

Not much make-up is required in Youth as it's naturally gifted, features tend be stronger and well defined too. But as you age, beauty fades and a bit of make-up compliments also defines your looks.

I dress to make me feel good and not to please anyone else. If i had to please everyone then i would never leave my house. lol.

FRIENDSHIP'S FOUNDATION is built on TRUST & RESPECT.

Hi Friends, "FRIENDSHIP is Ageless, Timeless & Priceless..NEVER, Careless or Worthless"..this quote came about last night on my way to work... My mind wonders, thinking about this or that, especially when driving... multitasking comes naturally with age & practice..lol.

So parked up to update my status via my fon.

I have to thank a friend, very recently joined us. Wanted to know my age, just as i was leaving for work...i'm not ashamed or never, ever hidden the fact and have NO REGRETS or RESENT any part of my LIFE.

"I'm much happier and completely at EASE with my Life & myself...NOW than EVER. I'm sure most of my older friends here, can & do agree wth this".

Some, not all of our YOUNGER friends feel and believe they would NEVER age...Time would STOP for them and their YOUTH would REMAIN.

Time was much SLOWER in the OLDEN days (those were the GOLDEN DAYS)...we had time to enjoy our childhood, really and truly relish, cherish and treasure them.

Friendship is firstly built on TRUST & RESPECT...THE REST WILL FOLLOW. Remember,"Treat Everyone The Way You Want To Be Treated"

Nowadays...'Time is definitely on a Faster Mode'. So just remember, don't worry about a friend's AGE, LOOKS, POPULARITY, WEALTH, HEALTH OR WHATEVER THEY HAVE OR NOT....LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY FOR THE PERSON WITHIN.

PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ANYONE BY 'YOUR' THOUGHTS OR OPINION OF THEM. TAKE A CHANCE...SAY "HELLO", YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT

FOR THEM TO MAKE THE 1ST MOVE...SO, SAY...WHY NOT ME???

I believe in Today & Now...Later may never Come, so don't delay or postpone it.

Wishing You All..."A Beautiful Friendship with Everyone". Life is Too Short To Wait Around, Make It Happen Today... ;-)

Anniversary of London Bombing...7th July 2005

Went to work on wed the 6th of july, another normal long night, started at 7pm & finishing at 7am...
Not sure if I'll make it through the night (that song comes to mind) was feeling really tired.
As finishing time approached, was eager to get home my ever faithful bed awaits, longing to hold me so dear as I was needing to snuggle up.
Driving home, dreaming about my restful sleep...wow
My fon rings... "No, nooooo....this can't be happening". It's a mistake, she's got the date wrong. It can't be, not today.
Hoping it was another day, any day but not todayyyyy. She was right as I checked. It was arranged few weeks ago, i had completely forgotten about it.
I had agreed to go along with my youngest sister-in-law for her hospital app.
Too late to back off now. Sleep shall wait for few hours. Wanted to kick myself but then again, what's the point. Get it over & done with.
They were going to reduce her sugar level, doing several tests to eliminate to pinpoint on her health issues & would need help getting home afterwards.
We decided to take the underground transport as it was easier & convenient. Car parking was limited & restricted. By car, it would've been horrendous too, especially that time of the day. Morning rush hour, everyone rushing to get into work, college, etc. Bought 2 return tickets & made our journey.
We were busy talking about this & that, to keep awake. My eyelids started feel like tons.
Time passed by so quickly. Reached our destination few mins before time. As we got off the tube, decided to call members of our family to make sure, all were getting rdy for school, work & so on.
My fon had no network coverage, assumed it was b'coz of being underground, so found an open space. Tried & kept trying..nothing.
Could hear other passengers mumbling something. It wan't making any sense. Bus, train on fire, disruption everywhere.
Few mins later, more info coming thru.. Few people have been injured in a fire on the bus, train...it was a bomb. What? Where? It wasn't making any sense at all.
We had just passed that station few mins ago & all were normal. It was the train just behind our's had suicide bombers & blew up the train killing & maiming several people.
We had narrowly escaped serious injury, even death. Felt numb at the thought of....
Managed to get through to members of my family. My youngest daughter was due to go for her job interview via Kings Cross station that morning. She called and changed it to the afternoon the day before. Lucky for my baby, she would have been there at the time of the explosion. Husband & son-in-law were already at work. My son got up late & was getting ready to go. My other daughter felt unwell decided to take the day off. My brother too made it into work before the incident. His wife too just missed it.
That's nine of us from the same family saved otherwise would have perished.
I feel sorry for the ones that were killed and injured in the incident. The stories that was unfolding since then have been heartbreaking.
I can't believe it was 5yrs ago today. I still remember that day still very clear.
The weather too was saddened by the incident, very gloomy, raining.. No transport to and fro, all were walking, head hung so heavily. It felt like a walk from a funeral but on a larger scale. No one talking but the look told a thousand stories..
Not knowing how many had been killed. It was one of the worst experiences i have ever come across.
We had to walk back home, it was miles. My sister-in-law was in a bad way, her eyesight blurred from the treatment which had put extra pressure on me to steady her as we made our way home.
I still see people with serious injuries to their face or limps missing, not sure if they were the victims of that day.
I know we were the lucky ones. The ones that have lost their loved ones will re-living that day on the anniversary of that day.
Actions of few worthless act that leaves lives devasted for ever...

Cycle Of Life...

‎We stood side by side, tall, strong, in all kinds of weather yet unable to move...
When the storm was harsh, all we could do, was reach out as the tips of our branches touched...
Unable to hug one another or protect each other from the cold...
The distance between us wouldn't allow us to be any closer...
The Sun was relentless, this summer seems ruthless than the previous seasons gone by...
I wanted to quench your thirst from the nearby stream...
If i could move, i would drench you from shoot to root...
To cool and soothe, shield you from the blazing heat...
It was sad, yet beautiful to see the colourful clothes, we wore all seasons before...
Were being stripped off naturally as autumn moves into winter...
As they shed, creating an amazing colourful blanket on the ground...
We stood naked, colourless, just grey and white as seen on an old faded postcard...
We will be growing new clothes once again...
It's ok, as i know this cycle will continue for many years to come...
Until we're freed from this curse forever...
To rise to another level, is a...'Cycle of Life', it will be better than the ones before...
I hope each birth will keep us together as promised, no matter what form we are to become...
Can't imagine a life without you...
This is just the beginning, i know we will be together for eternity...
Thoughts of us dancing, to feel safe in your arms seem like a distant dream now...
Maybe, it will become a reality in the future...
To hold, caress, feel every emotions from you, are my undying desires within...
Wanting nothing, other than to be your's...
Truly belong without any expectations, restrictions or limitations...
I don't want any gift to lift me or any praise to grace me...
All i need is to be loved by you unconditionally forever.

Lost Soul, Searching...

Shattered heart cannot be forced to heal...
It takes time to get over the raw deal...
A lost soul still searching...
Never ever reaching...
Do i deserve to be treated this way...
Maybe time is not right for me...
Trying to do the right thing...
But blunders are all i seem to be doing...
Sleepless nights and unbearable pain...
As it cools my eyes in the soothing rain...
Never ending sadness i feel...
Happiness is playing hide and seek...
Spring is here once more...
See beauty and happiness all around...
Believe i will find peace within...
But all i can hear are cries of pain...
As this lost soul is still searching.

KARMA...

KARMA...She can be great but your actions can have it's reactions & implications too.
Allow her to be your guiding light for your good deeds, not your shadow following you, to remind you of your bad ones...haunting you.
Is your conscience clear?
You can lie to everyone but not to yourself.
Team work involves everyone not just a chosen few by you or be treated as an outcast.
You can go around wearing blinkers & oblivious to your attitude or live in denial. Be fair to all, you'll get a better result.
Change your destiny before it's too late, don't live to regret any.
Youngsters believe youth will last forever & they're exempt from ageing or bad debt of inflicting pain unto others.
Wishing & hoping to see some change in your attitude if not great deal.
'Team Work'...starts with you...

CAPTIVATION...

How did we meet?
I remember now, not so long ago...
Your mail that captured my attention...
It stood out from the rest...
Captivating, soothing, so different...
It became an addiction for me...
Reading them over & over...
Your words flowed so peacefully...
Over and within so calmly...
My mind was buzzing like never before...
Eagerly awaiting ur next mail...
Making me restless, even crazy...
Greatest feeling ever...
Felt like a teenager with a major crush...
I admitted, i was in love with ur writing...
Am I falling in love with you?
No, it cannot be happening...
I hardly know you...
But it felt so right from the start...
Living the moment in my heart...
Cherishing the romance...
You never promised me a rose garden...
Only to love me unconditionally...
To care, share, dare, also to be Fair...
You made me laugh like never before...
Laugh at almost everything...
I laughed even more, just thinking...
About the jokes we had shared...
Asking me to name a song, any song..
Then you would sing to me...
When i was feeling low...
You'd call me out of the blue...
As if you could read my mind...
Or sense my sadness...
We do fall out at times but never for too long...
It's healthy to express our opinion...
You would say...
Even better to accept it...
We are different in so many ways...
But so much alike in every other sense...
You would send me sweet song or two...
So I could listen to ur voice on the phone...
You're not only my strength but weakness too as i was for you...
Woke up and realised, you were just a dream.

Last memories of my father's life...

Death is inevitable...
Many close relatives have passed on...
I've witnessed my grandma's...
Just before my 6th birthday...

But never thought...
It would knock on my door for my dad.
Wanted to hold onto what we had...
Just few moments longer...
I know i was asking for too much...

He held on as long as he could...
It was a tug of war within me...
Part of me willing him to stay..
The other half wanting him to stop breathing...

No more pain for him to endure...
Part of me died that day...
Looking forward to meeting him again...
Don't want another life without him.

Rushing home to see him...
All that awaits is an empty bed to greet me.
Life will never be the same ever again...
I will treasure him in my memory...
Only the death of me, can take that away.

I was truly lucky and hononured...
To have been born as his daughter...
If i was to be given another chance...
I would choose him every time...

Thankful to God...
For the times we shared.
I know, he truly cared...
Will make him proud.
Life must go on...